


through a funhouse mirror

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Creativitwins, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Remus accidentally confesses something to his brother.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 302





	through a funhouse mirror

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics are from shinedown's "monsters"
> 
> for anon prompt: "(suicide tw) could you possibly write something where Remus accidentally tells someone (not Patton please) he’s suicidal? Totally okay if you don’t want to! Have a good day!"

_Leave your weapon on the table_  
_Wrapped in burlap, barely able_  
_Don't get angry, don't discourage_  
_Take a shot of liquid courage_  
_Leave a light on if you're able_  
_'Cause we both know you're unstable_  
_Call a doctor, say a prayer_  
_Choose a god you think is fair_

"I heard you," Remus's voice floats through the darkness, giving him the brief satisfaction of watching his brother jump and look wildly around the auditorium. Perhaps it was part of being Creativity that drew them both there, Remus thinks. He doesn't give a fuck.

"Remus?" Roman asks, squinting in his direction. "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry, I forgot the Imagination only belongs to _you_ ," Remus says bitterly, flopping over on his back and staring into the dusty depths of the lofted ceiling.

"What?" Roman asks. "No, that- I didn't mean it like that, I just- You haven't been here in a while."

"I wonder why," Remus says. His voice is dull. He can't bring himself to care. "Don't worry. I won't stay."

"Remus, you-" Roman starts in frustration, then stops. "What has gotten _into_ you?"

"A herd of feral cats that want to play with my intestines, what do you think?" Remus snaps. "I _heard_ you. Funhouse mirror, am I? Sorry I can't bring a funny face, I must have left it in my other ass."

"That isn't what I meant," Roman says, coming closer. Remus has the irrational impulse to kick him. He promptly kicks Roman in the shin, enjoying the little _oof_ of breath.

"Then what _did_ you mean, Ro Ro, because it sure sounded like what I'm thinking to _me_ ," Remus says. Now his voice is sharp, like broken glass, like his words can cut his brother. Maybe they do. He can't make himself care about that, either.

"We're...different," Roman says lamely. "That's- that's all."

"No shit, Sherlock, leave the deductions to Logan," Remus advises. "If I knew I had to knock you out in order to figure _that_ particular nugget of wisdom out, I'd have done it years ago."

"Are you done trying to score points off me or can we have an actual conversation?" Roman blurts out. Remus huffs a sigh.

"I don't know," he says. "Maybe you'd want to score points, too, if you heard your one and lonely brother talk about you like you might as well be a handful of disease-ridden maggots."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Roman says, shoving a hand through his hair. "I- I didn't expect you. You _knocked me out_."

"For like a minute," Remus says. "You and I both know you weren't unconscious that entire time, you just didn't want to fess up to Thomas you had an evil brother."

"You aren't evil," Roman protests. Remus arches his eyebrows, as high as they can go.

"Really?" He says. "News to me."

"You aren't evil," Roman repeats, insistent. "If- if Thomas wants to explore more mature themes in his content, then, well..." He sighs. "Although I don't see how 'juicy butthole' is mature in any way," he mutters.

"You don't see how sexual themes are mature?" Remus asks, skeptical. "Wow, Logan was right, you really _are_ Netflix Kids and Family. Here you go, Ro Ro, when two people love each other very much..." Roman glares at him.

"I know _that_ much," Roman snaps at him. "This is why you-" He stops.

"Why you don't listen to me? Why I don't get any input into Thomas's creative process? Why I'm one of the 'Dark Sides?'" Remus finishes for him, hooking his fingers in the air to make air quotes around the term 'Dark Sides.'

"Well, yes," Roman says, clearly uncomfortable. 

"Whatever," Remus says, closing his eyes, like he can shut out Roman the same way. "You want to be Thomas's only Creativity, fine, let's make that happen."

"Uh, Remus, we can't fuse back together," Roman starts to say. Remus's bitter laugh cuts him short.

"That's not, in the slightest, what I meant."

"Then what did you-" Now it's Roman's turn to cut himself off. Panic saws through Remus's stomach and he sits upright, his hands crumpled into fists.

"Please tell me you didn't mean that," Roman whispers, nearly begging. "Please tell me you didn't mean you're suicidal."

"Fine, let's go with that," Remus says, his own voice threadbare. "I'm- I'm not. Just silly, stupid Remus, that's all, blurts out everything that comes into my head, I'm _fine_ , okay? I'm fine."

He bursts into tears.

"Remus-" Roman's arms come around him, tentative at first, and Remus clings to him like an octopus, soaking his ridiculous white shirt and red sash in tears as he buries his face in his brother's shoulder. Roman keeps up a constant stream of reassuring nothings, soothing him until finally he's able to draw away a little, nose stuffy and eyes red and swollen.

"Sorry," Remus croaks. Roman shakes his head.

"Don't- please don't apologize for that," Roman says. "You don't need to apologize for that. How- er, how long?" 

Remus stares blankly at him until he realizes what Roman's asking.

"I can't remember," he admits. "It's been a while."

"Oh, Remus," Roman whispers. "I'm so sorry." Remus looks down into his lap, twisting the edge of his shirt. He feels both extremely uncomfortable and extremely relieved.

"I want to help you," Roman says. "Can- will you let me help you?" Remus hesitates, then nods slowly.

"Dee helps me, too," he warns. "You- he's important to me, too."

"I can handle that," Roman says slowly. "Because you're important to _me_."

Remus's answering smile is shaky but there.

Still there.


End file.
